Hi folks. I guess it’s been a while again. Partly becuase things have been busy. And I’m sure you know that when things are busy, the days can just slip-slide away from you. If I’m honest, it’s also because I’ve been struggling a bit with anxiety in the last couple of months, mainly brough on by dealing with the completion of my PhD, viva, and corrections. It’s a weird feeling. I don’t want to talk about it at great length here, because that’s not what I want this space to be about. I passed the viva, yet I don’t feel like celebrating.
I feel scared still. Scared that something will go wrong because I am not over that last hurdle. I think other people find this hard to understand, and just want me to celebrate and be happy. And the fact that I don’t feel like that is hard for me too, as I feel I am letting people down, in a strange way, by not feeling jubilant. And then there is still all of the original anxiety lying beneath that. I hope that one day, not too far in the future I can look back on this, and it won’t matter any more…. but I think that is some time in the future. I’m not there yet.
In the midst of all of this, as always, crafting has been a life line. This blog, which always used to be a bit of a life line (even if no one read what I was writing), and which I had to give up, is again becoming something of a life line. I guess that’s why I am here, now, writing this. I could bury it. It’s easier to bury feelings, I often find – at least in the short term. But long-term, it does no good. Sometimes you need to confront things. Only then can they take their true shape and proportion in life. But enough, I waffle. I didn’t come here for this, and I am sure you didn’t either.
The pictures I’m sharing here are of a cotton throw, something that I’ve been working on for a while. I created this based on a picture that I saw in a magazine a couple of months ago. It was Country Living (which even though I am a city dweller, is a guilty pleasure for me!) – I think it might have been the May edition. I know it was after lock-down started. I was flicking through, and saw this beautiful cream bedspread in an interiors spread, crocheted, and with a tassel border all around. I couldn’t think about anything else except how I was going to replicate the pattern, and how much I loved it!
I wasn’t able to find a pattern anywhere and there were no clues in the magazine. So with a bit of careful scrutiny of the photos, I set out to figure it out myself. Surprisingly, it wasn’t too difficult as I think it is fairly similar to a lot of existing fillet square patterns that you see around. I’m not sure I’m going to give a tassel edging (it would be a lot of tassels!)
I’m using Sirdar Cotton DK, which is my current favourite for this type of project. It’s a bit softer than a lot of mercerised cotton yarns, though I think it might have been treated in some way. The colour palette also floats my boat as there are plenty of softer, chalkier colours. It’s slow going, as I think I started this back in April. It might be finished in time for next spring though!
As well as the throw, I’ve been working on a Bryum shawl. This is a lovely gentle knit, with easy texture stripes. I started out knitting something involving lace, but ended up ripping it all out as my brain just couldn’t cope with lace over such a large number of stitches! I think it’s been too long since I’ve knitted lace. Also I am not sure that lace shawls are really ‘me’. I’m more of a texture gal! I do think it is important (at least for me) to know that I am knitting something that I will love and get lots of wear out of. So I have to really like the pattern. The yarn used is a combination of a lovel OOAK skein that I bought from Hedgerow Yarns, probably a couple of months ago now. It’s the yellow-y coloured skein above. I’m using it in combination with a terracotta coloured yarn – actually I think it is two yarns! I had 2 small balls in the cupboard left over from something else. I know one was Madeleine Tosh 4 ply yarn of some kind in the colour Pink Smoke Tea Tree. The other is something else, but in an almost identical colour, so it works.
As well as crafting, weekends are my gettaway. We bought a car about a month ago, and it has transformed our weekends. The short walks around our neighbouring streets because we didn’t feel comfortable on public transport are no more. Now we jump in the car and head out for a picnic in the Kent countryside. Last Saturday we made it to the beautiful Beyham Old Abbey. This may not be everyone’s thing, but personally I love a beautiful ruin.